


Smile for me

by Caramel_Roze



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Eventual Smut, Friends to Lovers, Hetalia Countries Using Human Names, Historical Hetalia, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 01:19:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16007291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caramel_Roze/pseuds/Caramel_Roze
Summary: Ivan recalled a time when Alfred and he were inseparable.Back then, Ivan worshipped the pure untainted smile of the young new nation.They were in love and their happiness was untainted.





	1. I want to see you

**Author's Note:**

> I am a fan of Rus/Ame (M/M)  
> I decided to contribute to the pairing with this brainchild of mine!  
> I wrote a similar fic years ago, and decided to fix it and it became this long as story!  
> Enjoy!

  _He remembered the day he was excited to see the young boy..._

* * *

  **1800\. Russia.**

 

Doors opened and a tall man with beige hair and violet eyes entered the carriage that awaited him in front of the palace.

As the carriage headed to the docks, the man’s heart drummed excitedly, his head swimming with thoughts of a young man with blonde hair and sky blue eyes.

Ivan Braginsky was excited. He was thrilled to be seeing him soon.

His beautiful golden sunflower. Alfred.

He had just received permission from his monarch to see him, as well as discuss the trade and politics between the two nations.

But he didn’t give a damn. He wanted to see him as Ivan. Not as nations.

Recently, he’d had enough of fighting. He just wanted to talk normally with a  nation. No fine dinners, or dances or making partitions. Just talk.

But he knew at some point, that it would become political. It always would. For now,  he just wanted to make more silly decisions. 

Just to see his sunflower.

 _ _ _

He felt the cold air as he neared the docks. Anticipation thrumming in his veins. Soon, he would leave this cold land. I will be in a warmer land, where a smiling boy awaits me.

 As Russia approached the docks to his ship, ready to set sail to see his friend, he spotted two familiar figures, his sisters.

_Why now…_

He knew they were there to see him off, but he already spoke to them about it last night. He’d had enough of Bella’s relenting attitude and Ukraine’s pity. He just wanted out of her. Even for a little while.

“You two. I need to leave. I already said this last night but I will return as soon as I can. For now, I need you to monitor Polan-”

“Tell him hello for me. Also, give him this.”

His elder sister gifted a present to him. Wrapped in modest brown paper and a red bow atop. He could already imagine Alfred’s reaction to such a cheap looking gift. But then he remembered that the young boy wasn’t some snobby noble only wanting expensive gifts.

He smiled, accepting his sister’s gift. “Thank you, sister.”

She gave a sigh and smiled. “You like him more than you know brother. I’m happy you found someone you can smile with. Take care okay?” He nodded. The two shared a moment, gazing into each other’s eyes. Bella, on the other hand, and looked hesitant. He gave her a comforting smile.

“Do not worry sestra. I will be alright.”

“Brother. You can only be close with us!” Belarus protested. She struggled in Ukraine’s grip. She wanted to stop him from leaving her. Prevent him in any way from leaving.

“Bella! I told you that as a nation, I need to make more friends! Alfred is a great ally and resource for us and-”

“Sure he is! That’s what you said about Liet! And the rest of them too! They all ended up hating you in the end!” She screamed.

Ivan froze.

Ukraine’s eyes widened and she tried to force Belarus off the docks, but the woman kept screaming, desperately.

“AT THE END OF THE DAY, THIS CHILD NATION WILL LEAVE YOU! HE WILL HATE YOU! HE WILL!”

Ukraine knew she’d get it now. Why oh why did she accept bringing Bella here. She knew Ivan would hate it, but family was still family. Seeing a loved one off is the right thing to do. Now she regretted it.

Ivan’s face was unreadable. He looked dead-on at his younger sister’s face.

“You’re wrong.” He quietly said.

He then turned back and walked onto the ship, accepting the salutes of the men he passed and headed to his small room. There he slammed the door.

_Breathe Ivan. Breathe…_

_..........._

His younger sister’s words kept resounding in his mind.

During the journey to America, he became increasingly more depressed at what she had said.

“AT THE END OF THE DAY, THIS CHILD NATION WILL HATE YOU LIKE THE REST OF THEM! HE WILL HATE YOU AND LEAVE YOU! HE MOST DEFINITELY WILL!”

He knew he was ignoring the facts. His sister might be right. Alfred would one day hate him.

But right now, ignorance was bliss. He wanted to treasure these moments of peace with Alfred…before the walls came crumbling down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some juicy smut next chapter!  
> Don't forget to comment and leave kudos!  
> Thanks for reading <3


	2. I love your smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut! Lovely Rusame SMUT ALERT!  
> You just gotta read through all the angst and emotions to get to it first though :)  
> Enjoy!

 

_He remembers the raw talks and emotions they would exchange._

 

* * *

 

A young man with short blonde hair and sky blue eyes approached the tall man looking at the starry night sky. A peaceful smile present in his features.

The boy sighed while smiling himself.

“My sky looks amazing tonight, hm Ivan?”

“Da. It is Alfred…Your night sky is so bright….and I’m happy I am seeing such sights with you.”

“Me too! I’m really glad you came to visit me!”

“Expect the unexpected my sunflower!”

“Aw, I ain’t no sunflower, I’m a seasoned bad-ass!”

The Russian chuckled, whilst Alfred began to contemplate the day's events.

Alfred was in a slump before Russia surprised him with his visit. He was beyond ecstatic and rushed to the docks to see if the talk was true.

When he saw those familiar violet eyes, that round funny face and those large arms starting to open in a welcoming embrace, Alfred knew it was him.

“I’m here, my sunflower”

The young nation jumped immediately into his arms. Ivan held him tight. His heart thrumming and his soul at peace.

Both of them forgot that they were embracing, in a public dock, with many confused onlookers gazing strangely at them. As if the spectacle were meant for a zoo.

But they didn’t care. Both men just embraced. Their loving bubble circling warmly around their bodies, their touches and their gazes. Ivan then gave Alfred Ukraine's present. A soft hand knitted blanket with the Russian eagle embellished on it, alongside an American flag. Alfred loved it.

Ivan was right. This boy was untainted and lovely. The Russian was determined to keep this fire in their bond going. That’s why despite the risks and challenges, he’d help the growing nation in any way. Indeed some of his actions were provoked by political means which always left a bad taste in his mouth.

But seeing him in the flesh, would wipe the horrid taste away; leaving behind a pure blend of happiness and that perfect genuine smile. He quickly admitted that he loved him. He wanted Alfred to be his and his alone. The face of friendship slowly crumbling to that of affection and soon desire.

Unbeknown to the Russian, Alfred felt the same.

 

Alfred recalled their first meeting together.

 

He was young, wearing an expensive tux, and his hand gripped firmly by the nosy English nation. It was Alfred’s first ball and England would be presenting him as a “trophy” of some sort to officials and nations.

Alfred thought it would’ve been fun until political talk started to bore him.

It was then that he saw violet eyes staring curiously at him.

“Hello there”

Alfred could remember that smile the man gave him. It was so different from the rest.

When people or other nations smiled at him, something felt off. Like the smile was a mask, hiding a nefarious plot.

But this man was different.

Indeed the smile was fake, but the eyes were sad and felt….alone.

Alfred immediately felt at home with the man and began spouting random facts or stories about his people and joked about his elder brother. For some reason, he kept talking…maybe he wanted to see this old guy smile for reals.

The violet-eyed man laughed and laughed. They all sounded genuine which made Alfred want to talk more. Soon, the ball ended and both were hesitant to leave the other.

Before Alfred was dragged by England – the latter looking suspiciously at the violet-eyed man – the young nation asked, “When will I see you again?”

The man’s smile grew. He reached to caress Alfred’s hair; he liked it when he did that, his hand large and soothing.

“Soon. Perhaps sooner than you think!”

Both beamed at the other before England forced the two apart, with Alfred hearing animosity between the two before they entered their carriage.

It was then that a slight dislike for his brother grew. England was always mean to any new friend he made, or any nation wanting to be friends with him. Soon, even his human friends would say the man was “possessive”, which lead to Alfred severely thinking of his relationship meant to England.

Then the Revolution gave him an answer to that.

It had been years since his independence from Britain and he never looked back. Sure, there were some difficulties with his first ever government, and some idiot countries continued to mess him around, but he did have one friend stick by him throughout all those times.

The very same man with lonely violet eyes. He did see him again, and he came to him at a time of need.

Russia himself has been one of solitude. Even if he had allies, they never trusted him. His life has been splattered with blood and tears of his people, darkened by several betrayals. When meeting the new nation, however, his darkness was temporarily erased and for the first time in his long harsh life, he felt happy, by just being the young boy’s company.

He recalled the stories and silly jokes the boy told him and remembering them now made his heart soar. This boy would not hurt him, he would save him from this loneliness.

Though Ivan’s boss has been reluctant to send troops to his aid during the Revolution, Ivan himself happily sent him ships of equipment and food to keep his fight going.

The public image of their friendship was eventually greatly admired and respected by their people, and their bosses too, greatly approve of their friendship. Though sometimes, the friendship seemed political, the countries friendship was true.

England on the other hand was scared of their relations strengthening and tried to be nicer to Alfred which became some wary friendship. Still, he didn’t hesitate to express his annoyance at his still possessive ways.

_Oh well. Whatever._

As Alfred contemplated, he kicked his booted feet up in the air whilst sitting on a wooden fence which Ivan was leaning on. He looked over at his furry coated companion, who was gazing at the sky, his eyes wide with wonder

“So, how are your shipments coming along? Got loads of stuff for me?”

He looked over at him and smiled. “As always, but of course. How about yourself, little one?”

 _I’m not little!_ Alfred grumbled inwardly.

 “YUP! Still sending stuff and always will be. Bet they’re better quality than England's yeah?”

He chuckled before replying. “Of course. Would not expect so little from the ‘land of the free’, yes?”

The youth winked. “That’s right!”

Ivan beamed at the gleeful display. _What a beautiful smile._

Alfred, on the other hand, noticed the smile Ivan gave him. Another sad smile. He thought he’d get used to it but now Alfred wanted to know.

“Hey, Ivan.”

He turned to him, the same sad smile before replying with “Da?”

"Why’re you always so gloomy?”

There was a moment of silence before the Russian nation spoke.

“Haha, What are you talking about? I always smile.”

His tone of voice was filled with a melancholy that Alfred pressed on, determined.

"Yeah, but there’s something sad about the way ya do it. It’s like a sad smile.”

Ivan stared at the boy for a moment, his expression blank before he looked down. What he said really saddened him. _Crap._

"You don’t like the way I smile? Now that makes me sad…”

"No-no it's not that Ivan please I don’t mean to offend you! I just…”

He was fiddling with his scarf now. His eyes closed calmly.

_“It…is complicated, little one…”_

It was barely a whisper, but the boy didn’t hear his words.

All of a sudden, Alfred jumped off the fence and walked over to face him.

"I’m sorry, Ivan. I… didn’t mean it like that.”

He sensed deep regret and sadness in his voice. When he turned around, his sudden action shocked him.

He wrapped his arms around the man’s bulky shoulders and gave him a warm hug.

….!

He smiled as he looked up at his surprised face. “But you know. I just wanna see you ‘happy smiling’ ya know….Ivan?”

"You are so warm…”

The man then wrapped his big arms around the boy’s lanky figure, his chin now rested on his shoulder. He didn’t want to bring it up at the moment, but the man’s body was cold.

"Uh…Ivan?”

They often hugged. He always took it as a sign of friendship and was happy to embrace back, persuading himself it was not weird for friends to cuddle once in a while. However, sometimes, he sensed there was something else the man wanted to say through their constant hugging without the use of words.

 

“Um…”

 

Before he could say any more, he felt his warm breath on his neck, which sent tingles down his spine.

"WOAH! Ivan! WA-A-Y too close!!”

After his sudden shout, he eventually loosened his hold on him and let him go.

"Oh! Sorry, it is just you are so warm, little sunflower. Heehee “

He smiled again, similar to that of a cheeky child.

“Ah! I told you I’m not little anymore….I’m independent! I’m America!” he said proudly, striking his chest at the moment.

However, the man showed no expression and simply smiled. “Nyet. You may be independent but you are a child.”

Now that ticked him off. He knew Ivan was teasing but he couldn’t help but still feel the man underestimated him.

He angrily kicked the soil below him and turned the other way, crossing his arms. “Kh! Don’t be like….”

He was about to say ‘his’ name, but his mouth couldn’t form it.

…..Kh!!

Russia saw the boy's figure tense as he shook in anger. His hands clenching the sleeve of his shirt. He sighed before replying apologetically,

“I’m sorry. Did that remind you of him?”

“…You’re mean…” he replied with a grumble.

He tried to suppress a laugh. Truly, he is a cute child, for he resembles one at some points. That was what he loved pointing out to him, just to see the boy stamp his foot and yell at the wall. However, he understood all his rants and was successful in always calming the young nation down.

He sighed again before walking over to his angered form and embraced him from behind.

“Ah!”

“Don’t look so sad Alfred. Your face is not right for frowns, da?”

He smiled as he felt his warmth again. He, on the other hand, had the opposite experience.

“Ivan, you’re body’s cold!” At Alfred's comment, the Russian sadly smiled.

 

 _Another one of his sad as smiles. I really need to tally how many times he does one of those_ , Alfred remarked.

 

Ivan replied, nonchalant. “Is it? then…”

Suddenly, the man turned the boy around before wrapping an arm around his waist, pulling him closer as his lips touched his ear. His breath warm against him.

“Why don’t you warm me up, Alfred?”

Ivan was only teasing, but he felt the boy tremble…then his heart rate rose steadily.

Alfred blushed and looked at him with a suspicious expression.

“Hahaha, oh Alfred. I mean hug me! What did you think I wanted?”

“You’re hugging me now!”

“Well, fufu, return the hug then?”

The boy hesitated before shrugging and returned his embrace. His arms circled around his body until it reached his shoulders.

After every passing second, his body grew warmer. He didn’t know why but she felt so…safe and happy in his embrace. Russia rested his face on the boy's shoulder.

“Hmmm….you're so very warm, my little sunflower. How I envy you….”

His reply was laced with his same smile but melancholy was dripping from his words.

He wondered why it was always so cold to touch him. He had told him that his place was a land of endless winter. Alfred couldn't believe it. Sure England also told him the same thing, but he still didn't believe it.

_Is there really a place where the sun never shone much? Jesus, is Europe that sad of a place?_

“Is it really…that cold at your place?” he asked curiously, hopeful that he didn’t sadden him again.

He was met with more silence. His hold on him, however, tightened.

“Da. In Russia, the cold is merciless. It will erase every living thing in its path and leave behind it, a trail of white. Nothingness.”

He turned to him with his classic sad smile.

“Even when there’s no snow, it’s not as vibrant as here. The sun always hides from my skies. One of my past leaders, Peter, tried to make my home wonderful for me. Yet, when he died, everything went ugly again. I always wanted happiness in my life Alfred. I wanted one happy thing to stay the same. But no, life doesn’t have mercy on anyone. Sinner or saint.”

Alfred’s breathing stopped for a moment, listening yet feeling the mood slip deeper into darkness.

 “That is…the harsh reality…Which you will most definitely experience one day.”

All the while saying his reply, he felt his arms shiver. His eyes softened and his hands unconsciously started stroking Ivan’s hair.

He hugged him tighter. This happy man who he saw as a young child, now in her arms saddened by his past. He was open with him, and he was to him.

That’s what he loved about him. If only he could do more.

He seemed to like it and continued. “I wish so much for the south lands. Like here. The places where the sun is always present.”

Ivan slowly began to stroke Alfred’s hair. His fingertips caressing the ends, and the boy’s body shivered in pleasure.

All the while he continued to speak. “Where the sun is never hiding behind dark clouds, where its glory is free and bright and warm. Oh, how I wish for such a time for me back home.”

He sensed the longing in his voice. A longing he connected with.

For the years he spent under England’s colonial servitude and dependence, he thought he was free when he really wasn’t.

Eventually, when he saw what he had done to his people without his knowledge, where he started to long for his own freedom.

As the two held each other, he closed his eyelids as tears were forming from them. Alfred didn’t want to cry.

However, as Alfred tried to stop his own tears, he felt the man in his arms shiver as if…he was holding in his own.

“You are very lucky you are. The sun is always out and smiling at you….to you and to all your people…The sun never hides…That must feel so warm.”

He then buried his face on his shoulder. It felt like he was crying now. Immediately, Alfred’s heart broke.

He didn’t want Ivan to be sad. He wanted him to smile. A true beautiful smile. He wanted that for him, and he would give it to him.

Though both were on the verge of tears, what better way to break the depressing atmosphere than what he had to say next.

 

“HEY! I GOT IT!”

 

He said it quite loud and startled even himself and Ivan.

It felt as if something exploded in the air. As if a bright light had shone.

“Da….?” He replied questioningly, nose sniffing.

He grabbed his shoulders and tore them apart, allowing the two to look at one another.

 “Maybe one day, when I come to your place, I might bring the sun with me! Then you can have some sun yourself!"

He looked at the boy with a very confused expression. Then as quickly as that expression came, Ivan grinned.

“hehe, r-really you’d give the sun to me?”

Although it was a childish question, and both of them knew it, they didn’t care.

He grinned. “Hey, anything for a buddy of mine! C’mere!”

Alfred began to stroke Ivan’s hair and back. Ivan happily welcomed it.

He liked it when he comforted him. It did feel strange since the boy wasn’t the comforting type, but it didn’t feel fake. It resembled his elder sisters touch. It felt like a mothers touch. He leaned into it, hungry for more of his fingers, his warmth, his breath….

Then he started patting him quite hard. Ow.

“F-Fredka...That hurts a little…” He said slowly.

That instant he said this, he backed off and laughed slowly while scratching his head.

 “ah sorry! hope it didn’t hurt tha-”

As he stepped back another step, he felt his boot slip onto a stone and found himself falling butt first on the ground, right in front of the Russian.

“ACK!! STUPID ROCK!!!!! AHH!! MY BUTT!! OOOHH MY BUTT!!! IT HURTS!! AAH THE PA-A-IN!!”

Ivan saw the scene and something burst in him.

As he watched the sight before him, the Russian tried to contain it but he lost it. He burst out laughing.

While stroking his pained butt, Alfred's eyes widened as he looked up at Ivan's face. His features were stretched by the width of his laugh and his smile, a smile that was far different from the smiles he often gave him. That true smile.

“Ah! Ivan! That’s more like it!”

_This is so embarrassing. Ugh oh well. At least I got him to laugh._

As Ivan gasped for air, he shed a tear from his eye, the genuine smile still present on his face.

“Haha…oh I’m sorry but I could not hold it in…here.”

He stretched his hand out. He waved it off.

“Nah, I can stand up myself!"

As he tried to stand, he pulled him up anyway.

“Hey!”

The Russian shrugged. “Your buttocks may be still hurting, little sunflower.”

The young nation felt his face grow hot and released himself from his hand. All the while he kept the smile.

Although still embarrassed, Alfred then found himself smiling too, chuckling even.

“Now THAT’S the smile I gotta see from you more often. Stop with the sad and in with the smiles! Besides….”

He walked up to him and looked at the man’s face.

“It makes you look cute too ya know?” At his comment, he grinned.

Ivan however, placed a finger on his lip and tilted his head.

“Oh? You think I look cute, Alfred. How nice!”

He gave him a confused look. “Well yeah. Your smile is nice, my man!”

Ivan raised an eyebrow.

“Well, Вы красивы.” He was speaking in his own tongue.

“Um…?”

He sighed and answered him whilst a smirk etched on his lips. “You are beautiful."

At his compliment, he found himself suddenly blushing, before shaking it off.

“Oh...thanks! That’s what you’d say to a girl though-”

Ivan then started absentmindedly fiddling his gold hair, anxiety present in his features.

“What? Do you not believe me?” He said, a sad expression appearing on his face.

 “UH NONONO! I totally believe you! Cause, I trust you, Ivan.”

As he held his hand, Alfred looked at his face. However, his features were unreadable this time and he seemed to be deep in thought.

 

….

 

“What’s up now? I-I’m sorry if I said something wrong-”

“You really…trust me, don’t you?” he interrupted him.

He tilted his head while giving him a confused look.

“Of course! You’re a friend of mine! A friend will always be a friend, right?”

 _‘Sadly, that does not apply to all countries, little sunflower. Everyone will always betray you one way or another’_ He thought to himself sadly.

At the moment, he found himself clasping his the boy's soft hands with his own.

_Ivan’s very touchy tonight….Then again so have I._

“Thank you Alfred. For trusting me. You truly are…a true friend. If only….”

Another sad smile. God, this guy gets sad so quickly….. 

When he noticed his scrutiny, he looked away from his eyes.

“Sorry…..You know, If only, there were more people like you.”

O _h no. Sad atmosphere again…._

“Geez Ivan, you make things sooo sad….” 

He gave him a pat on the back. “Cheer up! For the record, I’d never hate you! You’re my buddy aren’t ya?

“….Da, I am.”

“Then there’s nothing to worry about. BESIDES!-“

He stops a bit before speaking again.

“If we’re ever gonna be enemies, ol’ Britain’s gonna laugh his ass off like the dick he is. When that happens, I really wanna have you be there when I punch his sorry ass in the fa-a-ce!”

He punched the air in front of him silently wishing it was the Englishman.

 _What a boy,_ he said inwardly admiring his energy. 

He chuckled. “I would like that very much. Although, punching is quite merciful. Why not skin him and send him to the French? They can embarrass him and his reputation will be ruined! Perfect idea da?"

His eyes, were dark with a devilish gleam to them as he thought of many ways to make the Englishman scream for mercy.

Alfred was slightly horrified.

 “Woah woah! That’s wayy too violent…”

"Oh, you’re too kind. Even to your enemies. As you know, it’s better to put an enemy down and keep them down so they never harm you again.”

“Like you did with that Poland guy?”

The smile he gave him was beyond creepy.

 “Da.”

….He didn’t ask further on the subject. He knew Ivan was a scary guy, as Francis would often tell him scary tales of what Ivan did before she  was born. But, most of the time he didn’t listen. He knew his ignorance would destroy him one of these days, but for now, Alfred wanted to be ignorant.

He wanted to keep Ivan’s friendship. Because…he liked him.

As Ivan contemplated, his sister's words suddenly crossed his mind.

 

_“AT THE END OF THE DAY, THIS CHILD NATION WILL HATE YOU LIKE THE REST OF THEM! HE WILL HATE YOU AND LEAVE YOU! HE MOST DEFINITELY WILL!”_

 

Ivan’s heart bled at the memory. Bled sadness and fear. He…he needed to ask Alfred. He needed to know.

“Alfred?”

“Yeah?”

He looked into his eyes. Beautiful crystal blue eyes, untainted and child-like. As beautiful as the stars in the sky.

He knew the question he would ask would anger him. However, he wanted to profile the boy further. Ivan knew all too well that friends can be foes in a minute. As much as he dreamed of marriage and happiness with him, what lay ahead? He knew one day he would hate him. It was obvious. But he needed to test him. He needed to know…

“….This is theoretical Alfred….but if we were ever to be enemies, would you try to kill me?”. 

 

………

 

As expected, Alfred froze for a moment. Then as expected, Ivan saw the anger slowly swell in his crystalline blue depths.

“What…. do you mean? Why would you ever think tha-”

He pressed further. 

“If I were to be forced to attack you, or a friend of yours someday, would you attack me? Would you abandon our friendship and try to kill me?”

“…..Ivan-”

 _Alfred, please. Answer me,_ he begged with his eyes.

He grabbed his shoulders, forcing the boy to look at him.

“Iva-”

“Answer me.” His voice suddenly cold.

“Jesus Russia! What the fuck are you asking me to answer?! I mean do you hear yourself? Where did that messed up thought come from?!"

The boy’s voice was angered and hurt. His eyes were dark.

His heart skipped a beat. Alfred had called him by his country’s name. Anytime someone would say that to another, it meant business or a hatred for them.

 _Oh god_. Ivan acknowledged that this was too much for him to comprehend. _Why did he say that? Now he’ll probably-_

 

Alfred yelled again. 

 

“SERIOUSLY! WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!? I mean, you’re my friend NOW! And after all we’ve been through, you ask me THAT?”

He was in his face now, and for the first time in a while, he was angry with him.

He tried to keep a calm face but inside, he was filled with regret.

“Sometimes, friendships are bound to fall, America. That fact is inevitable to all of us nations. If it were me, I would attack you. But would you attack me if I do?”

_Oh god, why did he say that? He was rambling now. Alfred was still young! Why oh why did he say these things._

_This is what happens when I open my heart too much._

Alfred clenched his fists.

“Are you saying that you don’t trust me now? 

Ivan defended himself, “Nyet! Nyet! I do trust you, but can that trust last?”

The wind rushed through them, the moon’s light shone on their tense faces. As he awaited his answer, he saw the boy’s hands trembling.

“…….Russia.”

He came this far. He needed to know his answer.

“Alfred. I am not a nice person all the time. Same with other nations. We betray, we lie and we keep distances. I’ve lost so many friends. Many of them desire my death now. I just…”

Ivan felt his scarf getting pulled.

Ivan choked then his eyes met with those crystalline depths. His face met his and the boy screamed.

“IF YOU WANT AN ANSWER FROM ME, THEN YES! IF YOU EVER DO ANYTHING TO MY PEOPLE OR ME, I’LL PERSONALLY BLOW YOUR SORRY RUSSIAN ASS TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL!!!!

Alfred breathed in and out at the end of the outburst. Then, Ivan saw his angered features soften and his grip loosened a little.

Alfred continued in a soft voice “But….Right now….You’re my pal. I…don't want that to change, and I hope, you and I will never be at that point….I mean…”

He looked away.

“I don’t want to imagine you…looking at the barrel of my gun…please….please don’t make me imagine that…Ivan please..”

Alfred then put his hands on his face, covering his expression, whilst trembling. Ivan flinched. Regret spreading everywhere in his body.

But, somehow Ivan felt cruel. He pressed on.

Ivan spoke through closed eyes, “Da. That would be the case….And at some point, you will be forced to do that with your other allies too. Even your own colonies.”

Alfred’s body suddenly jerked at the mention of ‘colonies’.

Ivan continued. “I have heard that the Phillippine Islands, has become increasingly rowdy as of late. It seems you do not wish for him to be independent.”

Alfred exasperated at their conversation spat back “I will let the guy go, just….not now….and what the hell Ivan?! When did this become me wanting to kill you to my fucking colony-!”.

Ivan kept pressing. It felt like he was pressing a keg of explosives. He didn’t know what but…he kept pressing.

"If things take a turn for the worst, will you punish him as any colonizer would?”

Ivan would profile him on this response. He needed to know if Alfred had any essence of cruelty in his veins. He knew it lay dormant in the boy, only present in dire situations.

Now it would be out in the open. 

The boy looked like he wanted to leave. He looked defeated, lost and angry.

Ivan smacked himself inwardly. _I deserve his hate now. This is why I am never good at keeping allies.._

Alfred slowly spoke up “….As of now, Phillipe is mine. I will do what is right, for my country. For my people.” A serious expression on his face.

Russia saw his eyes. They were conflicted with freedom and the right thing to do and his country’s desires. There, now he is seeing reality.

“Russia. Can we…stop talking about this now….Please?”

He looked really conflicted. His hands on his face and his figure slightly trembling.

“…I am…sorry.”

He wanted desperately to comfort him but after what he had said, he was unsure if he wanted to be near him anymore. He hid his mouth over and proceeded to walk down the hill. The mood was destroyed, and it was all because of him.

 _This is what I get for asking too much. I am such an idiot, I should’ve died years ago_ , Ivan cursed his existence, his life and his mouth.

At that moment, he felt a strong force hold him back. He didn’t turn around but felt warm hands clenching his arm.

“Russia….Ivan….wait.”

He closed his eyes.

When Ivan didn’t say anything, his grip on his arm tightened and he could almost feel pain 

“…..If you ever attack me, if you ever betray me, if you ever do anything stupid that would destroy what…we have -”

With his dominant hand, Alfred grabbed the man’s hand and gripped it tight.

“I’m sure…I, no we…we’ll find a way to be pals again."

Ivan turned to him. His eyes grew wide.

“Because, As of now, you are the best pal I would ever ask for. Sure there’s other peeps who contend for that, but nation-wise I guess? You’re a great friend...”

 _Until you made me question it when you spouted bullshit about me having to kill you and my business with the Philippines_ , Alfred sarcastically remarked to himself. 

Ivan kept gaping. _Did this boy know what he was saying?_

“I probably…sound like a child to you, just saying things without ever being sure of the future. But, on my honour, I swear I’m gonna be the bestest friend you’d ever have. I’ll be there to help you, to trade, to hang out with you, but not just as nations, but as us. For now, that’s all I want.”

Silence ensued. He didn’t hear him say a word for a long while.

“C-come on Ivan…say something.”

 

Silence.

 

“Ivan…don’t keep me hanging here-!”

He grabbed the Alfred and tightly embraced him.

…!

His tight embrace was beginning to deprive the boy of his oxygen and he attempted to push at him for release. All the while, his body began to grow increasingly hot when surrounded by his arms. A weird sensation rippled across his entire body and nether regions.

Ivan just kept hugging. As if hugging this beautiful unspoiled soul would purify his life. The blood he had to spill, the lies he had to spout, the lives he had to break.

Alfred was his God. The God that would save him from this darkness of life.

Then he felt the boy’s caress. He felt his arms stroke his back with a gentleness no one had ever shown him. In that moment, he understood.

As he hugged him, he whispered, “You are the only one who has said that to me. I believe I should return the favour.”

In that moment, he had to do it. For many years, he had been trying to hold back, but in this moment, he had a chance.

He pulled both of them apart, their foreheads almost touching, as they stared deeply into each other’s eyes.  Ivan closed the gap between the two men and kissed him.

Before Alfred could react, Ivan held onto him tightly, one hand held onto his head whilst the other travelled to his waist. He kissed him gently then licked his lips sensually for entrance.

Unconsciously, Alfred’s shock dissolved and he found himself closing his eyes and kissing Ivan back. Alfred had slept with a few girls, but they all felt like passing fancies.

With Ivan, his body was quivering. His heart beat strongly and every single touch the Russian gave him felt like fire. The boy tilted his head and allowed the Russian entrance to his mouth. All the while, his arms wrapped themselves around his neck, pulling their faces together.

As he returned his actions, Ivan embraced him even closer until their chests were touching and their legs were beginning to press against each other. Both could practically hear their own hearts beating loudly. In the moment, he threw off  his wool ushanka, grabbed his face and further deepened their kiss. 

Ivan began to grasp the boy’s clothes in anger.

_In the way…In the way!_

_He wanted them off. He wanted to hold Alfred with his bare body. He wanted to feel his skin, to claim him, and to enter him, to have the boy scream his name…_

Their kiss became a war of desire. At some points, separating their lips to breathe. Their hot breaths beating against their faces before Russia suddenly kissed him again, with more ferocious wanton. Alfred was taken aback by his raw strength then found himself returning his kiss in the same way.

All of a sudden he found himself falling deeply in the kiss of the Russian nation.

Ivan was clearly enjoying the feeling of kissing him. His lips, his hair, his warmth, the feeling of their bodies being pressed together….

The two gasped for air and he took some time to look deep into his violet eyes. As he panted, he saw a dark gleam of something within his lavender depths…..longing?

When he saw his eyes, he saw the same wanton.

Before he can even realize what's happening, their mouths clash together again. /p>

It was too late now. They needed this. It had been a long time coming.

While kissing, he forced his hands away from the boy, hastily removed his fur coat and threw it onto the grassy ground.

Then, he pushed Alfred onto the ground. His eyes gleaming with desire.

It began again.

He kissed those soft lips. Devouring his sounds. Their tongues intertwining and lips nipped on teeth. 

Ivan then moved from the boy’s swollen lips to lick the sweat on the boy’s chest as well as nip it's pink nubs slowly and possessively.

Alfred squirmed in his grasp, his hands clutching at Ivan’s back, whilst gasping moans. Ivan reaches the junction between his neck and his shoulder, then after silently apologising, bit hard into its softness which earned a groan that sent heat straight to his nether region.

The dam broke then. Afterwards, Alfred remembered a frenzied ripping of clothing, ferocious kissing and greedy touches.

Both of them ended up naked, clothing scraps surrounded them. Ivan on top of Alfred, with the young boy’s legs spread, grinding to the Russian’s large swollen member.

"I-Ivan please. I—want you inside me-"

As Alfred begged underneath him, Ivan began preparing the boy’s entrance. Alfred jerked his body again, impatient and eyes dark with desire.

"Aah! Ivan please, just put it in!”

“No, you need to be prepared Fredka. I don’t want to hurt you-”

“You won’t hurt me! Just please..ah ahh!! Mn!”

The boy moaned underneath him as Ivan suddenly took the boy’s entire length into his mouth, bobbing his head, sucking, licking up the side, drawing out every gasp and moan he could. He treasured these sounds, he needed more. Every memory, touch and kiss. Everything.

With a short cry, Alfred came while moaning Ivan’s name. As Ivan rose his head and had a hand wiped the boy’s essence from his lips, he was met with a truly erotic sight.

Alfred’s head is thrown back, blonde hair fanned out like a halo, face flushed and mouth open, panting slightly.

Ivan’s member hardened.

_Enter him…claim him…make him yours…_

No…no he still needed to prepare him. His fingers returned to the boy’s entrance. The boy squealed and his body arched in desperation.

“Fuck! Please Ivan give me….give it to me now…give me your-”

Before he can realize what he's about to do, Ivan relents to the boy’s pleas and quickly replaces his fingers with his throbbing member, sliding in all the way in one movement.

Ivan saw sparks. He had reached heaven.

Alfred’s heat. Alfred’s wet, tight heat.

He thrusted and rolled his hips into that heat; Alfred writhed and screamed under him, pleas of 'more', 'there!' and 'harder' escaping his swollen lips.

All the while, Ivan moaned the boy’s name. Over and over and over.

_Yes. His heat is mine. This heat is mine, his body is mine, his smile is mine…MINE!_

Ivan then thrust his hips and gave a loud groan.

Alfred arched his back, his hands grasping onto the man's back harder than before, blood spilt from under his nails but he didn't care. 

 _Ivan's cock.....I need_.... _I need it deeper!_

He looked at the Russian's lust filled eyes and pleaded with his own. Pleaded for the roughness he knew was hidden in the Russian nation. 

He began rolling his hips in time with the Russian's until he forgot his name as he screamed.

**“AH-AHH! Y-YES PLEASE JUST FUCK ME THERE! THERE!”**

Alfred screamed into the night sky.

Ivan kept slamming his hips into that wet heat. This was unlike any sex he’s had before. All felt so dry and unloving.

Alfred felt like heaven. Tasted of heaven and looked like heaven.

“Oh…Oh Fredka…I..I’M COMING!”

Then the electricity between them came to its peak. Ivan slammed in one more time and came hard. Stars erupted in his vision and as he slumped down, he let out a guttural groan.

Alfred came around the same time, and he also sees white-hot, everything is melting pleasure burning pure ecstasy,

Both collapse together onto the fur coat.

No words were said of their deed yet they knew now that friendship is no longer what they had. Now they were closer than before.

Ivan smiled one last time before falling asleep in the boy's warm arms.

Alfred gave Ivan a satisfied smile, kissed the man’s forehead and brought their naked bodied tighter.

Both smiled and embraced under the stars, no thought of regret in their minds.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> If you like my stories, please check my profile for all updates on current to upcoming works!


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